Can I Tell You Something?

If you say no, you can stop reading. I'm not so much telling you, as I am writing or informing. But if you do care to listen to what I believe, please, by all means, continue reading.

You say you need to get your shit together. And I'm happy that you've moved & you're doing things for yourself and changing so (and I quote) 'you don't love a loser'. But guess what? I feel like it's heading in that direction. I know it's weird, that I read what she's written on your page. But c'mon. REALLY? She's asking you what she should do or what she should eat....from nearly 2000 miles away? She's 19 and should be able to take care of herself.

I think you need to realize that you need to become stable YOURSELF before she moves up in December (or so goes the plan) and you're living together. Has she had a job before? Can she maintain one? Is she going to school, like you? I know you say there's potential. And I know that I don't know her and haven't been through crap she has. But honestly, it seems like she's still wallowing. Where is the potential with me? Do you see it? Or do you not want to admit it to yourself, for whatever reason?

What happened last month when you popped pills and nearly killed yourself because you mixed those prescribed (not to you) pills with alcohol? You said you were backing away. Congratulations. But I think there's still a pretty good chance you can slip into those ways. I want to believe that you won't and I am sticking by that belief. But there's still that possibility and it seems to be that she could be a heavy influence on your decisions that lean in that direction.

You can't mistake me if I'm wrong because it's all purely opinion. I want to be happy for you. And I am. I'm jealous of her, because she has taken my place. I would kill to be back there and you know damn well that this time around, I considered transferring for reasons other than to be close to you. But you haven't allowed me that chance, even when all your previous attempts to convince me to be closer to you failed miserably.

Give me that chance. Realize that I am what you want and what you need. And when you know something like that, why would you want anything else?