Moving Forward & Refusing to Look Back

In attempting to find and maintain the motivation to write a paper for a required class that I could barely give two cents about, I'm thinking back on the choices I made and how oblivious I was to my unhappiness and disdain to the program I've been in for the last four years.

It occurs to me that my greatest fear has come to fruition. That I studied and got a degree in something that I will (most likely) never use.

I could care less about a career in international relations and affairs. I've been lying to myself for the past eighteen months about my academic goals, following the completion of my undergrad. I feel like my time was a waste and a massive stress. I don't regret it entirely, because I learned from this long, drawn-out experience. But man... I'm going to listen to my gut more often and sooner.

It's a combination of things that have led me to this point: falling in love with Public Policy and falling out of love with International Relations; meeting and being with someone who fostered my love for transportation and city design; internships in both design/analysis and advocacy; classes with people who mentioned discussions in other classes. All of these factors have made me change my mind about what I love and what I want to do.

Public Policy was intended to be a supplement to my IR studies. It ended up taking over. A boyfriend's love for all things transportation made me realize my own passion for it (carrying on in my life long after he did). Working for Oakland Public Works, doing policy and economic analyses for a project currently underway, and for the East Bay Bicycle Coalition, researching current bike projects and creating material used for a major event. My classmate constantly bringing up things she learned in her planning and transportation classes at Berkeley. The latter is perhaps the biggest influence of my feelings at the moment; I'm jealous that she's doing it. And that I feel like I'm missing out.

So, while I'm starting my MPP at Mills in the fall, my academic & career pursuits are not a lost cause. I'm considering doing a program in City & Regional Planning. Based on feasibility of me getting into the program and the regions that I could deal living in for a few years, this is what I've come up with:
1. UC Berkeley
2. USC
3. UCLA
4. Harvard
5. MIT

I'll see where I am in 6 months, if school is something I could stand to continue you with. I hope that by doing this initial Master's program, I'll be able to build the GPA, pad the resume, and gain the experience I need to not only be desirable but most importantly to do the best job I can. As always, only time will tell.

Here's to waking up and smelling the coffee.