The News Drives My Desires

I read the news fairly often, though if I had a subscription to receive the physical publication, my devotion to the news would probably be described as "religious".

I grew up reading the newspaper at the kitchen table every morning, for as long as I could remember. My parents and I would rotate sections of the newspaper. When I was little, they'd have to wait a little longer, for me to finish the section. The sports section never interested me. It wasn't until I was in high school that I was reading the sports section (though, it was only to compare my cross country and swim teams to other teams in the surrounding area).

My favorite section was always the international section, what was going on in the rest of the world. It was a small section, but it was the one I looked forward to the most. Having grown up in a world lacking peace and filled with strife and violence, I grew used to the horrible news of drone attacks, villages destroyed, people killed. In the process, I grew to love the politics and the strategies behind these events. I should have known from that time (rather than realizing it in high school) that I would go on to study international politics and strive to work in the arena of international and domestic security.

Everyday (or as much as I can), I cruise NYTimes, Washington Post, The Economist, and several other well-known, reputable publications for news on the security issues across the world. When it comes to writing papers for government, I have a tendency to focus on security issues, game theory as it's applied to intervention motivations, or military strategies. There is still a strong desire to serve my country, whether through a branch of the military or through the State Department.

Either way, I know that reading about people being killed and institutions on the verge of collapse are some of the few things that truly brighten my day. Am I a bad person for this, for taking intellectual pleasure at the physical misfortunes of others? Or am I just focused and driven by these misfortunes, in order to change the outcomes for others?